it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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