Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
