Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
why do cheetos always look like penises
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He? As in you personified your dick?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize