Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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