how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
