i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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