Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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