feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
