i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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