I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
