I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
