Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
