So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
