no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
