oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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