The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
