at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Are we still banned from the library?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
