never play flip cup with pint glasses
smell my finger.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
