...so i touched it.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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