It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Panties = found
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