# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
