I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
