You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I have feelings that need drinking.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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