margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
