I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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