Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Is it because I queefed?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
