oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
