If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
It's just like the Real World with babies
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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