We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
