Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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