He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
