So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
