i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
