i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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