Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
where am i from again
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
