we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
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