I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
