For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
