He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm really busy with my period
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