absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
