i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
