maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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