Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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