Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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