You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
