Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
