You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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