Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Randomize
