i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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