well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
