Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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