By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
