i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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