He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
