I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
