Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
handjob tips. give me some.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
