That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
