Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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