just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
