Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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