even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
