he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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