I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Is Oprah even human
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
