They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize