Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
