I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
