So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Your cock deserves a montage
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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