This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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