My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
