An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
